How to find the perfect match

Finding the perfect match

At the entrance of the Temple Apollo of Delphi, there was written a wise aphorism "Know yourselves" (which later became famous all over the world ), that meaning one should take some time to get to find the truth about himself clarifying what are his weaknesses and strengths, qualities and defects, talents etc...in other words, self awareness.

Getting to know yourselves is a tough process but is worth the time since the hardest part in finding the ideal match for you is not looking for and conquering the perfect mate but knowing what exactly you are looking for, whatever will make you happy.

Once you will learn to accept your weaknesses and defects, you will have a more clearly idea about what traits your perfect match needs to have. For instant, if you have discovered about yourselves you are not a tidy and laborious girl you should better start looking for a man who does not look for a housekeeper in his life, otherwise you will be in conflict all the time.

If you accepted you don't like to socialize that much and prefer to avoid crowded places, don't stop to that full of versatility entertaining girl who seems to like meeting new people more than a butterfly to dance from flower to flower. I bet you got the idea!

After discovering yourselves move to the next step and clarify your vision of what kind of relationship would you like to settle for?

There are many types of relationships but they all have in common fulfilling each other the real needs.

If you prefer a validation relationship (that means you seek validation of your physical qualities, or social status or intellect or any other thing you consider important for you) you must have in mind that this type is kind of insecure relation. You will always wonder if he or she still appreciates you. The risk is that you or your partner may want at some point something deeper than that. If both of you have this desire at the same time, then is ok the relation will be improved but if only one of you wants that change, the other will feel betrayed.

Relationships based on acceptance, trust, mutual respect, open communication, support giving you the opportunity of being yourselves without fearing your partner will lose interest in you and are a much better option.

Healing relationships occur after a period of loss, depression, stress, mourning, that is why both partners seek tenderness, unconditional love and care.

The next step after discovering yourselves and of what type of relationship do you want is to finally start to search for the perfect mate for you. Get out of your house, family and circle of friends and start visiting places where chances to find persons who share the same interests as yours are higher. If you love to scuba dive and want to share this hobby with your mate, go to diving clubs, if you like to intellectual conversations go to the university and be friend many of opposite sex persons, if you like to dance go to dance classes.

In addition to this, keep telling to others what are you looking for, statistics show many couples have met themselves through persons known by at least one of them.

Sometimes, you may need to date several persons before finding that 'right "one for you so when you go to a date, choose to activities you prefer and observe your date reaction, especially nonverbal language, the body language being more accurate than the verbal one.

Planning the perfect date is an issue that should keep you preoccupied about. You put so much effort in finding your mate and you do not want to risk losing her or him because of a bad organized date.

The first date should be adapted to the type of relationship you want to develop and to your personality. Romantic places go well with melancholic temperaments and romantic relationships, while adventurous types may choose activities requiring a lot of adrenaline.