Dos and Don'ts of Dating
>> Friday, October 23, 2009
What to do on a date
There is no single definition for dating as long as this concept means many different things to different people. For some, dating is a way of passing time and thus the other person means nothing for them, these persons would propose a date to anybody they figure out will say yes. For womanizers, dating is a more like a sport, an opportunity to add one more trophy on their macho conquests list and they look upon their mates as prizes to be win, in their opinion that meaning having sex. However, for honest people who are in search for love, dating is both a test of compatibility and an opportunity to win over the heart of the mate they have felt some attraction in the first place.
Whether it is your first date or you're already in dating game, you will need some useful dating tips, since nobody is expert in this field. Having dating experience does not mean you have nothing to learn from others, there is always room for better.
The fact that she accepted to date with you does not mean she is already head to heels in love with you, the truth is she might not be at all. The same is true for girls , being invited for a date doesn't mean the guy is passionately in love with you, it merely means he feels some kind of attraction and wants to explore if it could be more or not.
That is why both guys and gals should pay attention to your dating time and prepare seriously for that day.
First thing to do is to take care of your physical appearance, do not let yourself be deceived by your relatives or kind hearted friends that it does not count the way you look - trust me, it does.
You can call it unfairness, call it superficiality but in the mass media influenced world we live today looks matter a lot in dating game, more than ever did. So if there is necessary, go to the gym, sauna, aerobic, hair stylist, have a cosmetic treatment and shop fashioned clothes (would you like to date the girl who reminds you of your grandma 'style clothing?! I bet you do not .... neither your gal would like your old fashioned style suit ) in other words, make everything possible to look the best you can. The initial attraction is based on physical appearance, not only your date will be impressed but your confidence will increase, too and that confidence will work wonders in your relationship.
Making eye contact is another important thing and a great indicator of interest in dating game but this is not as simply as it sounds. For some people it might take years of practice until they are able to do that especially the shy and the low self-esteem ones.
This kind of people usually feel uncomfortable when others look straight in their eyes thinking that something might be wrong with them, they're not used to get pal's attention and consequently do not dare to make eye contact with others.
If you are one of the kind, do not waste time and take steps to improve your self-esteem and confidence in your seduction power. If you feel that cannot do it yourself, ask for professional help.
For men a golden rule is to know good manners and courtesy tips. No matter what kind of education you have or have not received, you could buy a book and teach yourself how to behave like a gentle man because your date will measure your personality starting from them. Good manners are the ones that draw the line between a successful date and a horrible one. No girl likes coarse language, rude behavior, or simple being impolite.
Finally, conversation skills are necessary if you want to have a successful date and this is a requirement for both partners involved in relation. Just as it takes two for a tango, the same does for a normal flowing conversation. Do research in advance to learn something about the person you date, so you will have a starting point. Then ask your mate open questions, that way she would have a chance to talk about herself. While she talks, do not forget to make eye contact and to show you listen actively, nothing is worse than giving her the impression you are not interested in whatever she says. The same applies for girls.
If you have to disagree with her over some subjects, pay attention the way you do that, never use the expression "I agree with you but ...." That would put her in defensive mode.
Making her sincere compliments about the way she looks is part of your conversational style, too. Some people have trouble making compliments while others have trouble receiving them. Both parts should be aware of this and taste the waters before plunging. Thanking him when the date is over is also a must and not only an option, no matter how you think about the date. Politeness is a privilege both sexes should enjoy.
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