Chemistry of love

Chemistry of love - the psychology of love at first sight

What is love at first sight?

Many people have felt all of a sudden a strong crush on a person they literally saw the first time in life and knew little or nothing about. In the ancient times, this unusual romantic emotion felt for a totally stranger person along with the strong desire to posses sexually that person was known as "Cupid's love arrow ".Today ,we call this "chemistry" or " love at first sight ".

This phenomenon can happen equally to both sexes, males and females (sometimes two people of opposite sex may experience this at the same time), even to those who deny the possibility to be struck by this kind of "madness" , in their conception.

What happens when we fall in love?

According to most of researchers and anthropologists, a person falling in love at first sight experiences some chemical changes at brain's level, the so-called "cocktail of love", consisting of : higher level of dopamine, norepinephrine and vasopressin, plus lower level of serotonin.

The increased level of the first three chemicals is responsible for producing that intense level of excitement, energy, craving, addiction and loss of appetit, symptoms usually associated with the state of being passionately in love. The lower level of serotonin explains the obsessive preoccupation of lovers with each other in the first stage of love at first sight.

Unfortunately, the action of the chemicals responsible for the love feelings does not last for the whole life , after two -three -four years their activity decreases considerably and the persons involved in relationship are not feeling anymore the same passion as they have felt at the beginning . This is a critical stage in such 'love at first sight "relationships and if the bond is not strong enough to get over the difficult period, usually the relation ends at this level .

That explains why there are so many married couples who divorce only after three-four years of living together.

Why do we feel suddenly attracted by some persons?

The psychological concepts which explain why we can have a crush at first sight on certain type of persons and /or reject others, are anima ( which is the personification of feminine psychological tendencies within a man ) and animus (the personification of masculine psychological tendencies within a woman ) , two complexes introduced by psychologist C.G. Jung last century .

The anima is formed of those feminine qualities that are not recognized by a man as being his own (though they are, for instant these might be the tenderness, sensibility, need for cuddling, whatever )

So, he resolves the inner conflict within him by projecting that image onto a woman he sees as having those qualities and, thus, feeling an instant powerful attraction for her.

In the same way is formed and projected the animus, the woman feeling a compelling attraction to the man she projects her own animus image.

In simple words, there are our own hidden qualities that make us to feel attracted by the person we suddenly have felt love at first sight, qualities that we recognize intuitively at the unconscious level in the opposite sex.

A man who displays signs of virility , power , courage ,independence will be attracted by a woman who is exactly the opposite ,that meaning a weak, fearing ,dependent one, and the one who displays qualities like sensibility, weakness, excessive manners , politeness etc. will be attracted by strong, independent, assertive women.

This principle was spotted in a simple way by popular wisdom in the saying "the opposites attract. "

Conclusions

Love at first sight means more than physical chemistry, it is a strong spiritual connection with the other at a deeper level than we are able to realize using common senses. Although there is a real possibility that the love at first sight might not last for longtime ,two mature partners who are not addicted to those intense feelings that comes in the early stage of the romantic attraction and know how to be creative and rekindle the flames of love from time to time, might manage to take the relationship to a deeper level and remain attached to each other for a lifetime.