Dos and Don'ts of Dating

What to do on a date

There is no single definition for dating as long as this concept means many different things to different people. For some, dating is a way of passing time and thus the other person means nothing for them, these persons would propose a date to anybody they figure out will say yes. For womanizers, dating is a more like a sport, an opportunity to add one more trophy on their macho conquests list and they look upon their mates as prizes to be win, in their opinion that meaning having sex. However, for honest people who are in search for love, dating is both a test of compatibility and an opportunity to win over the heart of the mate they have felt some attraction in the first place.

Whether it is your first date or you're already in dating game, you will need some useful dating tips, since nobody is expert in this field. Having dating experience does not mean you have nothing to learn from others, there is always room for better.

The fact that she accepted to date with you does not mean she is already head to heels in love with you, the truth is she might not be at all. The same is true for girls , being invited for a date doesn't mean the guy is passionately in love with you, it merely means he feels some kind of attraction and wants to explore if it could be more or not.

That is why both guys and gals should pay attention to your dating time and prepare seriously for that day.

First thing to do is to take care of your physical appearance, do not let yourself be deceived by your relatives or kind hearted friends that it does not count the way you look - trust me, it does.

You can call it unfairness, call it superficiality but in the mass media influenced world we live today looks matter a lot in dating game, more than ever did. So if there is necessary, go to the gym, sauna, aerobic, hair stylist, have a cosmetic treatment and shop fashioned clothes (would you like to date the girl who reminds you of your grandma 'style clothing?! I bet you do not .... neither your gal would like your old fashioned style suit ) in other words, make everything possible to look the best you can. The initial attraction is based on physical appearance, not only your date will be impressed but your confidence will increase, too and that confidence will work wonders in your relationship.

Making eye contact is another important thing and a great indicator of interest in dating game but this is not as simply as it sounds. For some people it might take years of practice until they are able to do that especially the shy and the low self-esteem ones.

This kind of people usually feel uncomfortable when others look straight in their eyes thinking that something might be wrong with them, they're not used to get pal's attention and consequently do not dare to make eye contact with others.

If you are one of the kind, do not waste time and take steps to improve your self-esteem and confidence in your seduction power. If you feel that cannot do it yourself, ask for professional help.

For men a golden rule is to know good manners and courtesy tips. No matter what kind of education you have or have not received, you could buy a book and teach yourself how to behave like a gentle man because your date will measure your personality starting from them. Good manners are the ones that draw the line between a successful date and a horrible one. No girl likes coarse language, rude behavior, or simple being impolite.

Finally, conversation skills are necessary if you want to have a successful date and this is a requirement for both partners involved in relation. Just as it takes two for a tango, the same does for a normal flowing conversation. Do research in advance to learn something about the person you date, so you will have a starting point. Then ask your mate open questions, that way she would have a chance to talk about herself. While she talks, do not forget to make eye contact and to show you listen actively, nothing is worse than giving her the impression you are not interested in whatever she says. The same applies for girls.

If you have to disagree with her over some subjects, pay attention the way you do that, never use the expression "I agree with you but ...." That would put her in defensive mode.

Making her sincere compliments about the way she looks is part of your conversational style, too. Some people have trouble making compliments while others have trouble receiving them. Both parts should be aware of this and taste the waters before plunging. Thanking him when the date is over is also a must and not only an option, no matter how you think about the date. Politeness is a privilege both sexes should enjoy.

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How to find the perfect match

Finding the perfect match

At the entrance of the Temple Apollo of Delphi, there was written a wise aphorism "Know yourselves" (which later became famous all over the world ), that meaning one should take some time to get to find the truth about himself clarifying what are his weaknesses and strengths, qualities and defects, talents etc...in other words, self awareness.

Getting to know yourselves is a tough process but is worth the time since the hardest part in finding the ideal match for you is not looking for and conquering the perfect mate but knowing what exactly you are looking for, whatever will make you happy.

Once you will learn to accept your weaknesses and defects, you will have a more clearly idea about what traits your perfect match needs to have. For instant, if you have discovered about yourselves you are not a tidy and laborious girl you should better start looking for a man who does not look for a housekeeper in his life, otherwise you will be in conflict all the time.

If you accepted you don't like to socialize that much and prefer to avoid crowded places, don't stop to that full of versatility entertaining girl who seems to like meeting new people more than a butterfly to dance from flower to flower. I bet you got the idea!

After discovering yourselves move to the next step and clarify your vision of what kind of relationship would you like to settle for?

There are many types of relationships but they all have in common fulfilling each other the real needs.

If you prefer a validation relationship (that means you seek validation of your physical qualities, or social status or intellect or any other thing you consider important for you) you must have in mind that this type is kind of insecure relation. You will always wonder if he or she still appreciates you. The risk is that you or your partner may want at some point something deeper than that. If both of you have this desire at the same time, then is ok the relation will be improved but if only one of you wants that change, the other will feel betrayed.

Relationships based on acceptance, trust, mutual respect, open communication, support giving you the opportunity of being yourselves without fearing your partner will lose interest in you and are a much better option.

Healing relationships occur after a period of loss, depression, stress, mourning, that is why both partners seek tenderness, unconditional love and care.

The next step after discovering yourselves and of what type of relationship do you want is to finally start to search for the perfect mate for you. Get out of your house, family and circle of friends and start visiting places where chances to find persons who share the same interests as yours are higher. If you love to scuba dive and want to share this hobby with your mate, go to diving clubs, if you like to intellectual conversations go to the university and be friend many of opposite sex persons, if you like to dance go to dance classes.

In addition to this, keep telling to others what are you looking for, statistics show many couples have met themselves through persons known by at least one of them.

Sometimes, you may need to date several persons before finding that 'right "one for you so when you go to a date, choose to activities you prefer and observe your date reaction, especially nonverbal language, the body language being more accurate than the verbal one.

Planning the perfect date is an issue that should keep you preoccupied about. You put so much effort in finding your mate and you do not want to risk losing her or him because of a bad organized date.

The first date should be adapted to the type of relationship you want to develop and to your personality. Romantic places go well with melancholic temperaments and romantic relationships, while adventurous types may choose activities requiring a lot of adrenaline.

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