How romantic you should be

>> Friday, October 23, 2009

At the first date how romantic you should be?

No matter if you think about the first romantic date with a new person or just the first date in your life, this special occasion is a very emotionally as well as intellectually challenging one and that because of the pressure of "first impression counts" wise and old, still actual, saying.

Yes, that's true, the first impression counts and this is what you should have in mind when preparing to go out for a first romantic date with your possible next love or who knows ?!... maybe the greatest love of your life.

When I talk about first impression I don't necessary mean the impression provoked by the way you look - it does count that, too, however it is not the most important aspect - but I am talking about the way your girlfriend will be left feeling about dating with you.

There is a famous and true saying, "People will not remember what you said. People will not remember what you did. But people will always remember how you made them feel." ( Maya Angelou ), which apply even for romantic dating situations.

But what does "romantic date" mean?

Well, it seems that there is not such thing as an universally valid definition for this concept, the meaning varies largely from person to person. Generally speaking, romance is an outward expression of someone's affection in a such creative yet old fashioned ways that would make the beneficiary emotionally overwhelmed by the passion displayed. We can say then that being romantic means expressing creatively your love for your mate.

Let's see now how can you make her leave with the feeling that the time spent with you was a great romantic date and that you're The One for her.

First, you should make a list of the "data" you already have about your girl and start planning your date taking in consideration that information.

For example, if you know about her she is kind of 'tough" girl who likes to watch and to do extreme sports and prefer to watch action movies instead of love stories, chances are that she appreciates more the "macho" type boy than an overly romantic one and in this case be wise and act consequently.

This does not mean you should behave like a totally anti-romantic "macho" during your romantic date, but rather that you should moderate your romantic gestures.

Neither appear with a bunch of red roses when meeting her, nor let her leave without any flower, better make your walking/driving itinerary beside a flower shop, stop there and invite her to choose her favorite flowers.

Also, this way you make sure won't pick the wrong flowers ( you might be surprised but there are a lot of girls who simply don't like roses despite of the romantic potential meaning they have, though they might never express that explicitly to you).

The next step is to choose carefully the place where to go and the type of activity you'll do. No matter what personality is your girl, for a first romantic date avoid the crowded places such as a cinema, theatres, museums, amusement parks and the like even if your date is the extrovert type and would normally prefer such places.

Why? Because you won't have the opportunity to talk about yourself and get to know each other better, a crucial condition for propelling and developing a lasting relationship.

Plus, you may risk to leave the girl having a feeling that you were afraid of spending time "face to face" with her and preferred instead to "hide" behind the crowd, she might even think you don't actually like her that much and she 's just an "adventure" for you.

Remember that this first romantic date is essential to convince her you're worthy of being her next boyfriend, it's not time to be cheap now , so pick up a nice restaurant and have dinner together . Don't forget to announce her in advance where you have in mind to go, that way she could dress properly for the event. Apart for spending a romantic evening (you might even invite her to dance if you're good at dancing), you'll have an excellent opportunity to find out more about each other preferences.

Another important thing to take in consideration for a romantic date is to leave room for mystery, too. Don't share with her every of your hobbies, dreams, thoughts and plans for future, you'll look like a nice guy but totally uninteresting, good to be "just friends", not her lover.

Girls love "magic", that would make them dream with open eyes and they'll go crazy for the guy who knows how to create that sensation.


Rekindling the flames of love

When and how to rekindle the flames of love

Romantic relationships require a lot of creativity in order to survive, there is not such thing as "lasting forever and ever" without you or your partner doing nothing special for that.

How could one determine the right time to start thinking about rekindling the flames of love? A relationship does not fade out all of a sudden, there are warning signs revealing your relationship is in trouble and here are some:

1. Your partner begins to get bored in your presence after a while and doesn't seem to be so interested in your daily activities when you tell him how you spent your day;

2. He forgets to call and tell you he'll stay longer hours at his job, if you live together;

3. He behaves capriciously ,one moment being warm and affectionate and the next one he changes to that "leave me alone, I don't need you " attitude;

4. You feel you love and think about him more than he loves and thinks about you;

5. He forgets to celebrate the day you first met or worse he didn't remember your birthday;

6. He refuses to admit your relationship is falling down and need some attention from both of you in order to rekindle the flames of love between you.

What do you need to do when your relationship shows some of or all these signs?

Is there a way the romance be reinforced into your life? Here are some suggestions on how to rekindle the flames of love:

1. Remember the early stages of your romance and what made him fall in love with you in the first place ,then try to recreate that atmosphere .You may even plan a romantic weekend in an exotic place or somewhere else and enjoy that time doing fun things together as you used to do once;you'll be surprised to see how a simple weekend spent together with your lover in a quiet romantic place can do wonders on a relationship;

2. Surprise him with a well prepared aphrodisiac dinner when he less expects that from you( for example ,you might call and tell him you have a headache and will take a rest till he comes back home ,then wait for him dressed like for a special occasion , the table set with nice tablecloth ,cloth napkins , crystal glasses , champagne, flowers , light candles at the entrance of your home and one of your favorite romantic songs playing in the background );

3. Compliment him for any of his well mannered gestures and don't take them for granted;in the same time refrain from nagging him for all the things he forgot to do or say;

4. Reassure your boyfriend of your unconditional love by telling him those three magical old fashioned words "I love you" ,he needs to hear them from your mouth from time to time;

5. Encourage him to talk about his feelings and share his problems with you;be a good listener when he finally decides to open up to you ( men are more conceited beings than women and would rather keep for them any problem ), that meaning letting him to finish his speech;

6. Be supportive , understanding , sympathetic in his bad days rather than reproaching him he's not in good mood; talk to him gently and convince him to seek medical help if looks like he suffers from some kind of depression , especially when things are not going well in his life;

7. Don't wait for a special occasion and buy him that nice tie which goes well with his new suit just to show he's on your mind all day long; you'll get more chances to make him remember the things that are important for you and repay your gesture with a surprise ,too;

8. Work to improve the way you communicate with each other; learn to tell your man what do you expect from him ,remember he's into a romantic affair with you not into guessing games and usually men don't take time to wonder what their women want but rather will assume they can speak their mind up.


Chemistry of love

Chemistry of love - the psychology of love at first sight

What is love at first sight?

Many people have felt all of a sudden a strong crush on a person they literally saw the first time in life and knew little or nothing about. In the ancient times, this unusual romantic emotion felt for a totally stranger person along with the strong desire to posses sexually that person was known as "Cupid's love arrow ".Today ,we call this "chemistry" or " love at first sight ".

This phenomenon can happen equally to both sexes, males and females (sometimes two people of opposite sex may experience this at the same time), even to those who deny the possibility to be struck by this kind of "madness" , in their conception.

What happens when we fall in love?

According to most of researchers and anthropologists, a person falling in love at first sight experiences some chemical changes at brain's level, the so-called "cocktail of love", consisting of : higher level of dopamine, norepinephrine and vasopressin, plus lower level of serotonin.

The increased level of the first three chemicals is responsible for producing that intense level of excitement, energy, craving, addiction and loss of appetit, symptoms usually associated with the state of being passionately in love. The lower level of serotonin explains the obsessive preoccupation of lovers with each other in the first stage of love at first sight.

Unfortunately, the action of the chemicals responsible for the love feelings does not last for the whole life , after two -three -four years their activity decreases considerably and the persons involved in relationship are not feeling anymore the same passion as they have felt at the beginning . This is a critical stage in such 'love at first sight "relationships and if the bond is not strong enough to get over the difficult period, usually the relation ends at this level .

That explains why there are so many married couples who divorce only after three-four years of living together.

Why do we feel suddenly attracted by some persons?

The psychological concepts which explain why we can have a crush at first sight on certain type of persons and /or reject others, are anima ( which is the personification of feminine psychological tendencies within a man ) and animus (the personification of masculine psychological tendencies within a woman ) , two complexes introduced by psychologist C.G. Jung last century .

The anima is formed of those feminine qualities that are not recognized by a man as being his own (though they are, for instant these might be the tenderness, sensibility, need for cuddling, whatever )

So, he resolves the inner conflict within him by projecting that image onto a woman he sees as having those qualities and, thus, feeling an instant powerful attraction for her.

In the same way is formed and projected the animus, the woman feeling a compelling attraction to the man she projects her own animus image.

In simple words, there are our own hidden qualities that make us to feel attracted by the person we suddenly have felt love at first sight, qualities that we recognize intuitively at the unconscious level in the opposite sex.

A man who displays signs of virility , power , courage ,independence will be attracted by a woman who is exactly the opposite ,that meaning a weak, fearing ,dependent one, and the one who displays qualities like sensibility, weakness, excessive manners , politeness etc. will be attracted by strong, independent, assertive women.

This principle was spotted in a simple way by popular wisdom in the saying "the opposites attract. "


Love at first sight means more than physical chemistry, it is a strong spiritual connection with the other at a deeper level than we are able to realize using common senses. Although there is a real possibility that the love at first sight might not last for longtime ,two mature partners who are not addicted to those intense feelings that comes in the early stage of the romantic attraction and know how to be creative and rekindle the flames of love from time to time, might manage to take the relationship to a deeper level and remain attached to each other for a lifetime.


Dos and Don'ts of Dating

What to do on a date

There is no single definition for dating as long as this concept means many different things to different people. For some, dating is a way of passing time and thus the other person means nothing for them, these persons would propose a date to anybody they figure out will say yes. For womanizers, dating is a more like a sport, an opportunity to add one more trophy on their macho conquests list and they look upon their mates as prizes to be win, in their opinion that meaning having sex. However, for honest people who are in search for love, dating is both a test of compatibility and an opportunity to win over the heart of the mate they have felt some attraction in the first place.

Whether it is your first date or you're already in dating game, you will need some useful dating tips, since nobody is expert in this field. Having dating experience does not mean you have nothing to learn from others, there is always room for better.

The fact that she accepted to date with you does not mean she is already head to heels in love with you, the truth is she might not be at all. The same is true for girls , being invited for a date doesn't mean the guy is passionately in love with you, it merely means he feels some kind of attraction and wants to explore if it could be more or not.

That is why both guys and gals should pay attention to your dating time and prepare seriously for that day.

First thing to do is to take care of your physical appearance, do not let yourself be deceived by your relatives or kind hearted friends that it does not count the way you look - trust me, it does.

You can call it unfairness, call it superficiality but in the mass media influenced world we live today looks matter a lot in dating game, more than ever did. So if there is necessary, go to the gym, sauna, aerobic, hair stylist, have a cosmetic treatment and shop fashioned clothes (would you like to date the girl who reminds you of your grandma 'style clothing?! I bet you do not .... neither your gal would like your old fashioned style suit ) in other words, make everything possible to look the best you can. The initial attraction is based on physical appearance, not only your date will be impressed but your confidence will increase, too and that confidence will work wonders in your relationship.

Making eye contact is another important thing and a great indicator of interest in dating game but this is not as simply as it sounds. For some people it might take years of practice until they are able to do that especially the shy and the low self-esteem ones.

This kind of people usually feel uncomfortable when others look straight in their eyes thinking that something might be wrong with them, they're not used to get pal's attention and consequently do not dare to make eye contact with others.

If you are one of the kind, do not waste time and take steps to improve your self-esteem and confidence in your seduction power. If you feel that cannot do it yourself, ask for professional help.

For men a golden rule is to know good manners and courtesy tips. No matter what kind of education you have or have not received, you could buy a book and teach yourself how to behave like a gentle man because your date will measure your personality starting from them. Good manners are the ones that draw the line between a successful date and a horrible one. No girl likes coarse language, rude behavior, or simple being impolite.

Finally, conversation skills are necessary if you want to have a successful date and this is a requirement for both partners involved in relation. Just as it takes two for a tango, the same does for a normal flowing conversation. Do research in advance to learn something about the person you date, so you will have a starting point. Then ask your mate open questions, that way she would have a chance to talk about herself. While she talks, do not forget to make eye contact and to show you listen actively, nothing is worse than giving her the impression you are not interested in whatever she says. The same applies for girls.

If you have to disagree with her over some subjects, pay attention the way you do that, never use the expression "I agree with you but ...." That would put her in defensive mode.

Making her sincere compliments about the way she looks is part of your conversational style, too. Some people have trouble making compliments while others have trouble receiving them. Both parts should be aware of this and taste the waters before plunging. Thanking him when the date is over is also a must and not only an option, no matter how you think about the date. Politeness is a privilege both sexes should enjoy.


How to find the perfect match

Finding the perfect match

At the entrance of the Temple Apollo of Delphi, there was written a wise aphorism "Know yourselves" (which later became famous all over the world ), that meaning one should take some time to get to find the truth about himself clarifying what are his weaknesses and strengths, qualities and defects, talents other words, self awareness.

Getting to know yourselves is a tough process but is worth the time since the hardest part in finding the ideal match for you is not looking for and conquering the perfect mate but knowing what exactly you are looking for, whatever will make you happy.

Once you will learn to accept your weaknesses and defects, you will have a more clearly idea about what traits your perfect match needs to have. For instant, if you have discovered about yourselves you are not a tidy and laborious girl you should better start looking for a man who does not look for a housekeeper in his life, otherwise you will be in conflict all the time.

If you accepted you don't like to socialize that much and prefer to avoid crowded places, don't stop to that full of versatility entertaining girl who seems to like meeting new people more than a butterfly to dance from flower to flower. I bet you got the idea!

After discovering yourselves move to the next step and clarify your vision of what kind of relationship would you like to settle for?

There are many types of relationships but they all have in common fulfilling each other the real needs.

If you prefer a validation relationship (that means you seek validation of your physical qualities, or social status or intellect or any other thing you consider important for you) you must have in mind that this type is kind of insecure relation. You will always wonder if he or she still appreciates you. The risk is that you or your partner may want at some point something deeper than that. If both of you have this desire at the same time, then is ok the relation will be improved but if only one of you wants that change, the other will feel betrayed.

Relationships based on acceptance, trust, mutual respect, open communication, support giving you the opportunity of being yourselves without fearing your partner will lose interest in you and are a much better option.

Healing relationships occur after a period of loss, depression, stress, mourning, that is why both partners seek tenderness, unconditional love and care.

The next step after discovering yourselves and of what type of relationship do you want is to finally start to search for the perfect mate for you. Get out of your house, family and circle of friends and start visiting places where chances to find persons who share the same interests as yours are higher. If you love to scuba dive and want to share this hobby with your mate, go to diving clubs, if you like to intellectual conversations go to the university and be friend many of opposite sex persons, if you like to dance go to dance classes.

In addition to this, keep telling to others what are you looking for, statistics show many couples have met themselves through persons known by at least one of them.

Sometimes, you may need to date several persons before finding that 'right "one for you so when you go to a date, choose to activities you prefer and observe your date reaction, especially nonverbal language, the body language being more accurate than the verbal one.

Planning the perfect date is an issue that should keep you preoccupied about. You put so much effort in finding your mate and you do not want to risk losing her or him because of a bad organized date.

The first date should be adapted to the type of relationship you want to develop and to your personality. Romantic places go well with melancholic temperaments and romantic relationships, while adventurous types may choose activities requiring a lot of adrenaline.


love sms

There are a million stars and a million dreams, you are the only star for me, the only dream i dream.
Don't fall in love with someone you can live with, fall in love with someone you can't live without.
Love knows no reasons, Love knows no lies, Love defines all reasons, Love has no eyes..
But love is not blind, Love sees all but doesn't mind.
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.
Don't ever doubt your trust in me, I'll give you my heart so honestly.
Distance is 1 thing that keeps us apart. But u will always remain in my heart!
Lovely roses and Lovely you..
and Lovely r the things u do..
but the loveliest is the frindship of the two
….one is ME and other is YOU.
Falling in love with you was the easiest thing I've done in my life.
Hand in hand and heart to heart my love for you shall never part.
Just when I thought it couldn't get better, you prove me wrong! I love you!


love messages

Love knows no reasons, Love knows no lies, Love defines all reasons, Love has no eyes..
But love is not blind, Love sees all but doesn't mind.
Love is a journey not a destination.
Love is in your heart not to stay, but to be shared.
If you love someone, you give everything you can and don't expect to receive anything in return.
No one is too young for love, because love doesn't come from your mind, which knows your age, but from your heart, which knows no age.
Love is to think about someone else more times in a day than you think about yourself.
Don't fall in love with someone you can live with, fall in love with someone you can't live without.
When you love someone, it's something. When someone loves you, it's another thing. When you love the person who loves you back, it's everything.
Love is like the wind you can't see it but you can feel it.
True luv is hard 2 find. Special 1-1 of a kind.But the luv inside of me is true.It appeared the day i met you!


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